Stalemate, or the Great Domestic Animal Battle
by Aria Elan
Summary: There's something Vegeta wants very badly, but a member of the Briefs household is "sitting" in his way.


A/N: This is something I wrote last year, and meant to post ages ago, once I'd fixed it up a bit. Well, you know how that goes! ^_~  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Dragonball.  
  
  
  
Stalemate, or the Great Domestic Animal Battle  
  
  
  
"Damnation! There's a cat on my shorts!" Vegeta cursed, staring malignantly at the little black feline that was normally attached to Dr. Briefs' shoulder. It was presently, however, napping - in his room, on his bed, directly atop the neatly folded spandex shorts he used for his workout – and, to his surprise, deaf to the prince's outburst.  
  
He pondered the alternatives. He could go, pick the animal up, and move it. It had no more love for him than he for it, so it would probably scratch him. Out of instinct and anger, he would then kill it. Dr. Briefs would be unhappy. Bulma would refuse to sleep with him. He would leave for a week or two. When he came back, the cat would still be dead. Bulma would be furious with him for killing the cat, and for leaving. Dr. Briefs would still be unhappy. Bulma would still refuse to sleep with him. The gravity chamber would remain unfixed. His meals would all be burned.  
  
He frowned. He couldn't risk it. He sat down in the chair by the side of the bed, and tried to will the little beast to leave. It didn't move. He glared at it in the manner that had brought terror to countless beings on countless worlds. No effect whatsoever.  
  
"Cat. Wake up!" he ordered. It stirred a little, but remained asleep. "Cat! Wake up, and get the hell out of my room!" The small form shifted not a whit more.  
  
Vegeta reviewed his options. It would be possible for him to train in some of the loose-fitting clothing that the Woman had purchased for him, but he preferred the give of the spandex, and the way Bulma looked at him when he was wearing it. A useful seduction tool, spandex shorts. No, it was the shorts, or nothing. Perhaps he could tug them out from under the cat, if he were careful.  
  
He reached forward with great delicacy, but as soon as his hand hovered over the feline, it was awake, and hissing at him. "Damn it." He drew the hand back, quickly. It sniffed at him, and curled up even tighter. So, that option was out. Well, he could be patient. He might as well take a brief nap while he was here, who knew how long this could take? He closed his eyes.  
  
Half an hour later, when he opened them again, the animal hadn't left. Why was it doing this? It had never before been in his room, and tended to avoid him, a wise decision on its part. Stupid pest. Dr. Briefs must be wondering where it was by now. He was almost tempted to go and find the doctor and tell him to remove the creature from his room. Only the thought of being deeply humiliated by the fact that the human would then know that the mighty Prince of Saiyans couldn't solve such a simple problem by himself, stopped him. Vegeta smacked his fist into his thigh in frustration.  
  
He was about to try one more time to dislodge the cat without touching it, when he heard possible salvation.  
  
"Vegeta, lunch is ready." Bulma peeked around the door at him. "Oh, how darling, you and Scratch are finally getting to know one another."  
  
The veins on Vegeta's forehead swelled dangerously as he sprang from the chair. "We are *not* getting to know one another! That imbecilic animal is..." He stopped, not wanting the Woman to know his reasons for insisting on having this particular article of clothing.  
  
Just then, the cat reopened its eyes. Blinking innocently, it rolled to its feet, jumped off the bed, and as it did so, one claw snagged in the prized pair of spandex shorts, carrying them away, and out the door, like the most valued of trophies. Bulma swore to her mother later that she had never heard such a howl in all her life, as the one Vegeta then gave voice to.  
  
  
  
~FIN~  
  
  
  
A/N: Thank you muchly for the reviews! ^__^  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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